Updated: Apr 7, 2021
I think it is quite natural for us to look at someone with a perfect face and body and have the desire to look like them. But the thought: "I want to look like this person" is NOT a goal at all. Setting a goal is something that has to be in your control. One of the first things that all personal trainers learn is the acronym SMART goals.
There's a very good reason to why trainers learn this so early on. It's because setting goals is the equation that you use to achieve the results. Without the equation you will have no control over what the answer will be.
There are a lot of reasons why "I want to look like this person" is the worst mindset you could have. It not only lacks the fundamental aspects of setting a goal, but it is also stemmed from an insecurity that your body shouldn't be valued as much as that other person's body. You will never be content with your body and reach your potential if you have that disordered mindset. It will ultimately blind you from seeing any of your progress. You will always crave the thing that you don't have. Eating disorders are way more prominent that you'd expect. I, along with many of my clients, have experienced disordered eating. In these disorders, it doesn't matter what you look like or if you've achieved your original goal. All you care about is that you don't have what you want. It is impossible to achieve joy if you are never content with what you have.
"Okay okay, I get it. How do I set smart goals and have a healthy attitude?"
You should start by evaluating the lifestyle you have. Journaling is a great way to become more aware of the aspects of your life that are having a negative effect on you. I usually tell my clients to use scales of 1-10 for things like mood, quality of sleep, and achiness. Once you are aware of the potentially toxic aspects of your lifestyle, you can decide what the ideal lifestyle would be for you. You might desire to be a super fit person who reads, prays, and works out every day. Now that you know where you want to be, you can develop your SMART goals.
I'll leave you with an example. Let's say a girl wants to stop having gut issues. She's overweight and is insecure, and always feels bloated and achy. After 2 weeks of journaling she realizes that every time she eats past 9pm she has trouble sleeping and then wakes up nauseous. Well, now she can develop a SMART goal. In this case, she'd say "This week I will stop eating at 7pm. And then next week I'm going to fast from 6pm to 10am." This goal is specific, measurable, attainable, reasonable, and time-efficient.
In conclusion, you will never achieve any of your goals if you have a disordered mindset. You will also never achieve your goals if you are not working in the right direction. Evaluate your attitude and work on your mental health so that you can find happiness with where you are at. Ultimately, you must practice self-awareness in order to achieve any of your goals.